And the adventure continues...

It's been a while...

2010-03-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

For my two followers...I apologize for not posting in so long. The past few months of life have been busy and hectic and...well...basically full of life! =)

I have a lot going on and I will post about much of it soon.

And continue posting some of the best pics from my London trip.

And...well, just stay tuned!

Goodbye 2009, Welcome 2010....

2010-01-04T17:06:00.000-09:00

Does anyone else feel like each year has it's own personality? Sometimes the year is frustrating and trying, but I learn a lot. Sometimes the year is fun-filled and entertaining, but kind of trivial. This past year was definitely a year of change. It was my first full year without Dad. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn't easy either. I had to learn to work without my sister around. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a good employee just because my sister was there. However, I often feel it was her guiding influence that helped me to be an outstanding employee. My goal for this year is to find inspiration in others I work with and in myself. I am an outstanding employee because that's who I am. If I am going to work, I am going to make it worthwhile and be proud of what I do. Period.

2009 taught me that I can survive the things I think are going to be too hard. I can do whatever I put my mind to. I think I had forgotten that for a while because I hadn't truly been pushed in a while. But life isn't always easy and sometimes the things that are truly worth it aren't easy to get. 2009 wasn't an easy year, but I will still remember it fondly....I'm kind of sad to see it go. It's like a friend you've grown apart from. It's not exactly what you need in your life right now, but you got a lot out of it while it lasted.

So here's to 2010. I hope that this year holds some good life lessons, quite a bit of fun, and some new adventures....

Give Thanks

2009-11-25T14:10:00.000-09:00

It's official...the holidays are upon us. I have to admit, I used to dread the holidays. My family seems to have very bad luck this time of year. By bad luck, I mean we often have someone near and dear to us die unexpectedly. Last year, it was my father. It made the 2008 holidays tough, but I found that I enjoyed myself immensely by spending time with those that I love. In fact, I think it was one of the better holiday seasons despite missing Dad.

Another thing that dampens my holiday spirit is the commercialization of it all. I love Thanksgiving. I always have. I love a holiday that encourages you to eat good food, spend time with those you love, and give thanks for all that you have in the world. I combines all the things I love most. What I hate about Thanksgiving is how many people now use it as a day to plan out their Black Friday shopping. I'm not sure when this whole 'Black Friday' thing became the norm, but it drives me crazy. I have never been shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. And with all of the horror stories I have read and heard from the mouths of personal friends, I may never! When did everyone lose their minds over sales? When did Christmas turn into a holiday of giving in excess rather than giving with meaning?

I have slowly come to realize that I love the holidays. I love what they stand for...hope, peace, love, joy, family, giving thanks, forgiveness, and a time of renewal. They close out the year and lead us into the following year with hope. If others want to make Thanksgiving about gorging on food and shopping, I don't care. If they want to make Christmas the time of year to buy in excess despite being in debt, I don't care (as long as I am not having to pay off their debt for them). I don't care what others make of them. What I care about is spending the holidays how I want to spend them. I want to be amongst friends and family. I want to share in my time and love. I want to give one gift that shows my thoughtfulness instead of 20 gifts that have no meaning. I want to love and feel loved in return.

To start off my 'Season of Love', I want to share a few of the things I am thankful for:

Steve - My boyfriend is amazing. Is he perfect? Of course not. No one is. But he is perfect for me. He helps me when I need help, even without being asked. He listens when I need him to really listen. He lets me cry even when he doesn't understand. And makes me laugh when I really need to let go. To sound like a complete cliche, he completes me.

My Family - I have never been close to my extended family. Due to the military lifestyle, we never lived in their vicinity and thus never really developed a relationship with them. However, my immediate family has always been there. My mom, dad, and sister are my bedrock. They support me in all that I do and give me comfort when I need it. Although dad is no longer here on earth, he lives on in me and through my family. His words are forever in my mind reminding me that I can do whatever I want as long as I work for it. My mom is my hope. She reminds me of where I come from and how far I can go. She is my source of unconditional love when things are going poorly. And my sister...she is by far my best friend. She is the only person who truly understands where I come from because she was there too. We bitch together, we cry together, we laugh together...we share our lives. My family is awesome and I am blessed to have them.

My Friends - I have such a variety of friends and I love them all in their own way. I love the ones who are movie buffs with me, who introduce me to new music, who make me laugh, who listen to me when I cry, who join me on the dance floor, and those that I have watched grow from immature teens to amazing adults and parents. I have learned a lot from my friends. I have learned that even though we may change as people, our friendships don't have to end. I may not be as close to some of them as I was in the past, but I still treasure that past and the time we still get to share. Friendships grow and change and sometimes end, but to me, they are all worth it.

I am thankful for many many more things, but this is a good start.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May you remember all the things you have to be thankful for...

And time marches on...

2009-11-06T16:11:00.000-09:00

Today marks a year that my father has been dead. I almost can't believe it even while I write this. Where has the time gone? Has he really been gone this long already? There are days where it feels like it just happened yesterday. There are times when I just get the feeling that Dad is near. It always makes me smile. I miss him more than I can ever put into words. There are things I could say to him that I can't say to anyone else, so I just think them and imagine what he would have said in response. Funny how even the thought of his responses can piss me off (and I'm the one imagining them!). I think I'm pretty well past the anger phase. I just don't get pissed about the little things that happened in the end anymore. In fact, I find some of them difficult to recall. All I really like to remember are the funny conversation, the laughter, the life lessons...all the good things. My only hope since the day he died and still today is that he knows how much I love him and that he will forever live on in me. I am so much like him...I will always be his babygirl.

Love you Dad. Always will. Miss you.

Day 3 in London

2009-11-03T21:41:00.001-09:00

After having so much fun at the Portobello Road market on Saturday, we decided to hit the Camden Road markets on Sunday. We didn't take as many pics, which is unfortunate, because it was a hell of an experience! The only thing we really took pictures of that day were the Camden locks.

Overlooking the Camden locks

A view from the other side of the locks

Day 2 in London

2009-11-03T21:27:00.001-09:00

The second day in London we decided to wander close to the neighborhood where we rented our flat and discovered that the Portobello Road Market was within walking distance...

We need more street markets in Anchorage.

Steve capturing me amongst the crowd

A great sign booth

An awesome hat from the Irish store that Robert should have bought!

I have no idea what we were looking at... =)

Some huge-ass glasses that I just had to try on

Day 1 in London

2009-11-03T21:14:00.001-09:00

Our first day in London we were so jetlagged we just decided to walk around and explore the area around the Tower of London and Tower Bridge. Here are a few pics from the first day...

Tower of London

Tower Bridge

City Hall

Tower Bridge

All of us on Tower Bridge

When did society forget to learn how to read?!?

2009-11-02T14:00:00.000-09:00

And I’m not just referring to us stupid Americans. I witnessed many occurrences in London and Paris (that both have a multitude of travelers from countries around the world) that made it blatantly obvious that either people don’t read or they have absolutely no respect for anything anymore. I’m not sure which is more upsetting.

First, there was the British Museum experience. For those that have never been…it is amazing! They have more ancient Egyptian antiquities than Egypt. Many of these items are sitting out, uncovered, within arm’s reach. However, there are signs all over the place that say, “Please do not touch.” Why? Because the oils and dirt and grime on our hands help to degrade these priceless pieces of history. So, it really and truly pissed me off when I saw nearly every person in the damn museum touch something. I didn’t even need the sign there to know that we shouldn’t be touching! I was appreciative that they weren’t covered in glass because it made it easier to photograph and look up close (without touching) at the details of these artifacts. It saddens me that one day all items will likely have to be behind glass because people are just too lazy, too ignorant, or too disrespectful to not read and obey the signs.

Then there was the National Gallery. You actually aren’t allowed to take pictures there. I didn’t see the sign when I first walked in and went to take a picture of the beautiful foyer. A museum employee politely told me there was no photography allowed in the museum. I apologized and put my camera away and left it there for the duration of my visit. I cannot say the same for others. When I walked into the first gallery, I finally noticed the signs that said no pictures and that they had them leading into each of the individual galleries (hence why I didn’t notice it right after entering). From that point on, I was amazed by the number of people that just blatantly pulled their cameras out to take photos. The museum staff was polite in telling them it was not allowed, but I can only imagine how irritated they must get having to do it day in and day out when there are hundreds of signs saying that you shouldn’t do so!

Then it was just the overall feeling while walking around in London. London is pretty well signed for a city (Boston could learn a thing or two). Most of the touristy places have signs that direct you there directly from the nearest Tube station. There are also signs on the streets that point in the direction you need to go. It amazed me how many people seemed totally and utterly lost. It may have been because they just don’t pay attention. I almost witnessed multiple collisions because of the people that didn’t look at the pedestrians signals on the busy streets. London traffic is not a fun thing to just walk out into.

Then there was the Louvre. What an experience! The art, the antiquities, the structure itself…just breathtaking! But the people…just irritating. There were signs everywhere (EVERYWHERE!) that said (in words and using pictures) that no flash was to be used for your photographs. Easy enough to follow, right? Wrong! I saw flashes going off everywhere, at all times. I have to be honest. I forgot to turn my flash off once (it automatically is on when I first turn on my camera) and actually had to retake the picture because the photos came out better with the natural lighting. Then comes the Mona Lisa. She is behind a very large and thick piece of glass (probably to protect her from the idiots that can’t read the ‘do not touch’ signs). What does glass and flash do? It glares people! And every freaking idiot smashed in front of the painting was using flash. It was nearly impossible for me to take a picture without glare caused by all the other people taking pictures. It was infuriating!
There were many other cases of this happening while abroad and it kind of made me smile to know that at least it’s not just in the U.S.

As for things happening here at home, I often feel like I waste my time in writing complete and thorough reports, summaries, and emails for people that just plan on wasting my time by asking a question that was already answered in the text. Example one. I wrote a preliminary engineering report for a project. In that report, there was a written description and a figure showing what the new proposed roadway section was going to look like. In the weeks and months following the submittal of this report, I have received no less than 5 inquiries as to what the new road is going to look like. I have actually memorized the page number that it is on because I have been asked so many times. Why did I bother have the figure created and writing the report, again? Oh yeah, because it’s my job! =) Example two. I wrote an email to a group of people about an event. The first paragraph was describing the event. The second paragraph detailed the day, the time, the place, and what to bring. This information was also located on the invitation that I attached to the email so it could be printed out. I received an email from nearly every invitee asking me what time and day. I wanted to scream. These are professional people that I know, like, and respect and yet somehow can’t read more than one paragraph!

I have many more examples of the same thing. I actually emailed my sister once asking her the date of an event because I had read and re-read the email 5 times looking for it. The second I sent the email, I realized the date was in the subject line of the email. I have to admit, I felt like an idiot, but also wondered why that would be the only place that information was given.

Basically what I’m saying is that we are all idiots! =) Ok, just kidding. We are all idiots…but usually only on occasion. As they say, “We all have our moments.” Then there are those people who are idiots all the time. I kindly refer to them as ‘everyone else’. Tee hee!

And....I'm back!

2009-10-21T14:03:00.003-08:00

Someone pointed out to me that I hadn't posted in a really long time. Someone who isn't even a true follower of my blog, but I do live with him, so I guess he has some sway. =) I told him I don't post because I feel that no one reads what I write, but I guess they do. Perhaps I just need to write more interesting stuff. I can practice writing romance novels and use the term 'throbbing member' a lot. Or I could try to get in on the teen-vampire bandwagon and try to create my own Edward. Or I could just continue doing what I've always done and post when something either makes me smile or makes me want to scream. I think I'll go with the latter.

For those of you who don't know, I just got back from a two week vacation to London. It was wonderful! Me, Steve, my sister, and her boyfriend (Robert) all took the leap to book first class tickets for the first two weeks in October. We rented a two bedroom flat in the Holland Park/Notting Hill area. It was interesting living with people again, but not bad. You just had to be more aware of your nakedness. And the noise considering the walls were paper thin. Although no as thin as their toilet paper, but I think that the walls may have been smoother than the TP. If I ever decided to live there, I would have to find someone to import Charmin Ultra or something.

I plan on posting a few blogs about my experience (including pics) in the days to come, but mostly just wanted to let everyone know that I haven't disappeared. I've just been on haitus for a bit.

Ta ta for now.

Time for a Rant...

2009-07-17T08:01:00.003-08:00

As we all know, Michael Jackson died recently. Was it a sad moment? Yes. Was it necessarily the tragedy that everyone acted like it was? I don't think so. Yes, he was a pop icon that defined the 80's with his music and style, but what has he really done since that time besides turned into a closeted freak? I'm sure he was a highly misunderstood person who had a very difficult time living a normal life because he could not go anywhere without being mobbed. However, I don't think that his life is worth so much attention while everyday people who are loved are dying. Many of them much more tragic and selfless deaths while fighting for our country. I have been ranting about this to my close friends and family. I didn't watch any of the footage of his funeral and probably never will. I just don't care.

I received an email from a friend about a statement from one of our soldiers that I think puts my frustrations into better words than I can...the email is below.

No offense intended to anyone, just thought it was a good read.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is written by a young soldier serving his third tour of duty in Iraq. Thought you might find his take on the Michael Jackson news interesting and he's right.

Okay, I need to rant.

I was just watching the news, and I caught part of a report on Michael Jackson. As we all know, Jackson died the other day. He was an entertainer who performed for decades. He made millions, he spent millions, and he did a lot of things that make him a villain to many people. I understand that his death would affect a lot of people, and I respect those people who mourn his death, but that isn't the point of my rant.

Why is it that when ONE man dies, the whole of America loses their minds with grief. When a man dies whose only contribution to the country was to ENTERTAIN people, the American people find the need to flock to a memorial in Hollywood, and even Congress sees the need to hold a "moment of silence" for his passing?

Am I missing something here? ONE man dies, and all of a sudden he's a freaking martyr because he entertained us for a few decades? What about all those SOLDIERS who have died to give us freedom? All those Soldiers who, knowing that they would be asked to fight in a war, still raised their hands and swore to defend the Constitution and the United States of America. Where is their moment of silence? Where are the people flocking to their graves or memorials and mourning over them because they made the ultimate sacrifice? Why is it when a Soldier dies, there are more people saying "good riddance," and "thank God for IEDs?" When did this country become so calloused to the sacrifice of GOOD MEN and WOMEN, that they can arbitrarily blow off their deaths, and instead, throw themselves into mourning for a "Pop Icon?"

I think that if they are going to hold a moment of silence IN CONGRESS for Michael Jackson, they need to hold a moment of silence for every service member killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They need to PUBLICLY recognize every life that has been lost so that the American people can live their callous little lives in the luxury and freedom that WE, those that are living and those that have gone on, have provided for them. But, wait, that would take too much time, because there have been so many willing to make that sacrifice. After all, we will never make millions of dollars. We will never star in movies, or write hit songs that the world will listen too. We only shed our blood, sweat and tears so that people can enjoy what they have.

Sorry if I have offended, but I needed to say it. Remember these five words the next time you think of someone who is serving in the military;

"So that others may live..."

Isaac

P.S.-"So that other's may live..." was also the creed of the Air Rescue & Recovery Service during Vietnam & is still today.

It's been a long time...

2009-07-09T14:15:00.003-08:00

we shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to, step to, step to....

Sorry...I was channeling a little Aaliyah featuring Timbaland there for a moment. For anyone who doesn't recongize it, that is the beginning of the song 'Try Again' from the Romeo Must Die soundtrack. I am a huge nerd who loves her Aaliyah (yet another artist that died way too young). But now that I started singing the song in my head, I realized how applicable the song has been in my life. The chorus goes, "If at first you don't succeed, you can dust it off and try again, just dust yourself off and try again." How true is that?

I like to consider myself somewhat successful. Most everything I have put my mind to in life has turned out the way I planned. I graduated high school, then college, I passed my F.E. and P.E. exams the first time. I am now a licensed professional engineer.

Then, after working my engineering desk job for two years, I had successfully put on nearly 30 pounds. Enough was enough and over the next year, I successfully took it all off and have maintained this weight for over two years now. In fact, I put my mind to losing the last 10 pounds I wanted to reach my goal and I have taken off 2.5 pounds in the past few weeks. My weight loss was not a linear path. I have had setbacks and weeks on end where I plateaued and thought I would never get past. But I would give myself a bit of a break, then dust myself off and try again and because of that, I am where I am today. I honestly feel stronger and healthier than I ever have in my life.

I've never been overly athletic. I just don't like how nasty people get when they start to compete. I like to have fun. So this past year, when a group of friends mentioned joining a co-ed recreational softball league I was a little hesitant. In fact, I agreed to play only if I was a sub. I missed the first game of the season due to work, but started going game 2 and have only missed one game due to a rolled ankle since then. I'm still not overly athletic, but I have greatly improved over the season by practicing at throwing, catching, and batting. I am proud to say that I have not struck out once this season. I have either been walked or I hit it! I have missed a play or two, but overall, I have gotten over my fear of getting hit by the ball and, in fact, will put myself in the path to make the play even if it means a bruise. I have to admit, part of my fear in the beginning was probably fear of performing badly. Nobody likes to feel like a failure. But I swallowed my pride and have been rewarded greatly for doing so.

I guess this random post after a long absence from posting is just to say that life is good. I have my ups and downs like everyone, but I just keep dusting myself off and trying again.

More people who make me want to stab myself (or them) in the eye...

2009-05-28T14:36:00.004-08:00

So, I think I may piss a few people off with this one, but I hate the coffee-addicted, Starbucks toting, yuppy idiots that have infested every corner of our country. Since when did it become cool to spend $5 a day for an overrated drink that is actually making you poorer and fatter at the same time? I just don't get it. I don't understand why we have to have drive-thru coffee stands at least once a block for the caffeine-dependent folks up here in Anchorage. I can't tell you how many near accidents I have witnessed because someone decided last minute to shoot across two or more lanes of traffic to get to the coffee stand.

Now don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a cup of coffee on occasion. Typically I only drink it at a restaurant with a dessert or when out for breakfast, but personally we don't own a coffee-maker and probably never will. I'm not anti-coffee by any means. I just hate the fact that drinking coffee has almost become a status symbol. I truly believe many people drink it to make themselves look/feel cool rather than because they truly enjoy it. Either that or they have to put so much cream, sugar and flavorings into it that it's not coffee anymore, it's dessert...and packs 400 or more calories per cup. And then there are those that act like they can't live without it. You go anywhere with them and they have to stop, if not once then several times, to get coffee because it's the only thing that 'keeps them going'. If coffee is truly the only thing in their life that 'keeps them going' I feel very sorry for them.

Then I read this article about the fight between McDonald's and their new McCafe offerings and Starbucks and how Starbucks is not doing well recently. In response to this article, at least 20 people had commented on how they will never got to McDonald's for coffee because Starbucks is so much classier and relaxing. I laughed out loud. On the few occasions I have ever entered a Starbucks, class is not what I saw. I saw mother's sipping coffee and gossiping with friends while ignoring their children ransacking the napkin and creamer area. I saw people buying their 8 year olds a latte (training them young). I saw/heard at least five people chatting very loudly on their cell phones, some with very inappropriate conversations for public. Overall, I wasn't impressed. There have been a few locally owned coffee places that I have gone to to visit with friends and had a good time, but they were not a chain. The only good thing that I can really say about Starbucks is they are pretty consistent in drink quality. Because they are a chain, they standardize how they make a drink, so you are pretty guaranteed the same drink no matter which of the infestations (I mean stores) you end up picking it up in. Other than that...it's a corporation. Period. It's out there to sell you crap you don't really need at a price that's exorbitantly higher than what you would spend if you made your coffee yourself. And then they wonder why sales are down? There is a downturn in the economy (I refuse to call it a crisis because I believe it is more of a perceived crisis that we have created ourselves) and people are cutting out frivilous things. Spending $5 a day on coffee is frivilous. Let's say you get one coffee every day of the year (I know there are holidays and it won't always happen, but I do know some people who get a few extra every weekend). At $5 a pop, that's an extra $1,825 a year that you are spending on coffee. On coffee! That's just insane to me.

Like I said, I just don't get it. And, quite honestly, I don't want to! =)

Work and the weather

2009-05-13T22:21:00.004-08:00

So spring is blessing us with absolutely gorgeous weather this year. Temps have been in the 70s this whole week and the sun is shining until nearly 10:30 at night. It's hard not to feel happy....that is unless you keep getting stuck at work until 8pm, barely have time to eat dinner and relax for a few before you have to get up and go back to work in the morning. This week has just been insane and there are no signs of it letting up. I have a huge report due on Monday and I am hoping I do not have to work all weekend to get it out on time. The forecast is showing clear skies and wonderful temps and I need it!

At least next weekend is Memorial Day weekend and I should get a full three days to relax...I think! =)

8 is enough

2009-04-28T09:27:00.003-08:00

Tina over at My Own Party of 5 posted with an open invitation to play along and I decided it would be fun. Enjoy!

The first task is to take a picture of you immediately. No time for primping. Just take out a camera, snap a pic, download it, and post. Luckily I always carry my camera in my purse, so here it goes…

8 Things I am Looking Forward To
1) Summertime – I just keep singing ‘summer, summer, summertime’ in my head every time I look out and see the sun shining. It’s been beautiful and I’m hoping this weather sticks around.
2) Reaching my goal weight – After starting my desk job after college I put on 30 pounds within two years. That’s on top of the 15 I gained during my very stressful senior year of college. I was able to lose 35 pounds in a year with and have maintained that for past two years. But I am ready to push myself beyond my comfort zone to drop the last 10 pounds.
3) Taking more pictures – I am typically a very camera shy individual. There are very few pictures taken of me in my adult life that I truly like. But I realized, the more pictures you take, the more likely you are to have one you like. Thus, I am shedding my inhibitions and am going to start taking more pictures of myself…along with lots of other stuff!
4) My hair is growing out – Two years ago (in May), I took the leap and chopped my hair off into a very short a-line bob. I loved it! Everyone loved it! I actually inspired my own hair dresser and best friend to chop theirs off too! I continued to cut it and keep it pretty short until fall of last year. Then I decided I wanted to let it grow. I have to admit, it feels like it didn’t grow at all over the winter. But with the spring sun, I swear my hair is growing more every day! I love it and I am looking forward to finally have my hair past my shoulders and to be able to pull it up again!
5) For work to slow down…a bit – I know during this economic crisis I should be happy to have a job, let alone a job that looks like it’s going to be around for a while. But sometimes I can’t help but feel disgruntled while working late and the weekends and not getting to do all of the living that I would like to be doing. I would like it if I could go back to just working my 40 hours and not be so damn swamped.
6) My best friend’s new baby – All those who know me know that I am not a baby person. In fact, I have never changed a diaper in my life and I will be happy never having to do so. However, I am very happy for my best friend who is now pregnant with her second child. She is an amazing mother and I enjoy watching her and being involved in their growth. I get to live vicariously through her!
7) Washing my car! – Too many people, this may sound weird, but I love washing my car. My car is very sexy and looks awesome after I wash, wax, and shine the wheels and tires. My idea of a perfect Saturday or Sunday is getting up early and spending the first 4-6 hours cleaning cars with Steve. The weather is finally getting nice enough and pretty soon, we are going to do spring cleaning on our babies and I am going to love it. I’ll post pics!
8) Dinner tonight – We are grilling up some Korean ribs and I love them!

8 Things I Did Yesterday
1) Went to a meeting
2) Walked for a bit during lunch
3) Worked out
4) Made dinner with Steve
5) Watched some recorded television
6) Finished my laundry from Sunday
7) Read my book
8) Didn’t get to bed until late

8 Things I Wish I Could Do
1) Get to bed at a decent time
2) Sleep once I got into bed
3) Travel without having to deal with all those people
4) Had the guts to be a nudist so I wouldn’t have laundry to do
5) Eat anything at anytime and not worry about gaining weight
6) Live in NYC for a year
7) Backpack through Europe with Steve for a month or so
8) Gymnastics or ballet…I long for flexibility.

8 Shows I Watch
1) House
2) The Fringe
3) Scrubs
4) Bones
5) CSI (the original)
6) Dirty Jobs
7) South Park
8) Family Guy

I don't have 8 people to tag...so anyone who happens to read this and feel like playing along, consider yourself tagged!

Yeah Spring!!

2009-04-28T08:38:00.003-08:00

It's official. Spring has sprung in Anchorage! We have gotten through nearly all of the yucky melty part and now we are just dealing with the leftover dirt and grime. But the sun is shiny, the breezes are blowing, and spring is in the air. I love it! Everything is still brown right now, but as I mentioned in an earlier blog, things green up fast.

On Friday night, I got a hankering to go for a ride right around sunset time (which was about 9:40pm). I got Steve to come along for the ride and went out to Point Woronzof to take a few picks of the sunset sky over Sleeping Lady and the lights glowing in downtown Anchorage.

I hope you all enjoy the view as much as I did....

Brain clinic

2009-04-23T17:14:00.005-08:00

So, I took a trip to Las Vegas last month. (I posted a blog about my adventures in getting home a few weeks back.) However, I finally downloaded some of my pics from the trip and I was reminded of this amazing building we saw leaving an outlet mall.

So I'm not sure if you can see very clearing from this photo, but the building looks warped. Almost like it's melting. In fact, I made my friend drive past just so we could take a closer look. Once next to it, we saw the sign that explained what the building was going to be...a brain clinic specializing in dementia and alzheimer's.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I think this building is bad-ass. I don't envy the contractor that had to build it because I'm sure it wasn't easy. But I think it looks awesome. However, I found it to be rather insulting once I saw what it was for. Don't get me wrong, I understand the metaphor. I get how those mental diseases warp the patients minds and that the building represents this change. When my friends and I first saw the building, we nearly thought it was something that needed to be torn down after a fire. It's rather confusing to look at. So why would you construct a building that looks confusing and scary for a group of people that already have a brain imparement? It seems slightly cruel.

On the up side, the back of the building where (I believe) the entrance is located looks like a normal clinic. In fact the rest of the building looks quite normal. Perhaps that is part of the metaphor. Everything looks ok, but part of the whole is warped...perhaps? Either way, I think it's pretty cool.

Spring in Anchorage

2009-04-07T10:37:00.004-08:00

Inspired by my friend T over at 'My Own Party of 5', I decided I should write about springtime in Anchorage, Alaska. For those who have never experienced it themselves...you are missing out on one exciting ride. I have decided, after living in Alaska most of my life, that the state has a hard time finding a happy medium. It is either cold or hot. It is either rainy/cloudy or really sunny. It is either very enjoyable or a living hell. There really isn't a middle ground.

That being said, Alaska doesn't really 'do' the transitional seasons of Spring and Fall. At the end of summer, we start getting a lot of rain, the leaves start falling off the trees, and typically it snows before anyone has the chance to rake or do any sort of fall cleanup. That is followed by a long, cold, and snowy winter. Then spring hits. Literally. We go from being frozen to melting in 3 seconds flat. One day, it's snowing...often very large quantities, the next day you are having 40+ degree temperatures in which all that recently fallen snow is melting like the dickens and you have puddles several feet deep because the storm drains are still frozen and can't move the water.

That is why most weathered Alaskans refer to spring as 'break-up'. The snow and ice are literally breaking up. Not to mention the pavement. Due to our extreme temperature range and all the water that gets to sit on the road due to our special form of glaciation (running water over frozen ground), the roads start to fall apart any place there were tiny cracks last year. It goes from a tiny crack to a pothole so deep that people flatten tires or just plain get stuck in them. Driving down some of the older roads is like driving through a minefield. You have to dodge and drift and sometimes jerk out of your lane to avoid a hole that threatens to cause serious damage to anyone not paying enough attention to the road.

Needless to say, we actually are in our 'break-up' season now. When I left for Vegas on the 21st of March, we were getting snow. When I got back on March 30th, we had just gotten another snowfall. In fact, I think we got a bit of snow the end of last week. But over the weekend, the sun was shining and it has continued since then. The thermometer may only read 30 degrees, but with the sun beating down, everything is melting and us Alaskans are getting antsy for summer. Unfortunately I know we still have a few more weeks of dealing with all of the melt-off of our past winter. You have the lovely smell of rotting leaves that we didn't get to rake and dog poop that people either neglected or lost in the snow. Everything is dirty. Spring is definitely not a time to wear white up here. You would take two steps out your front door and be brown.

Yet somehow...it all changes. Almost in an instant. One day you are driving down the road looking at all the brown scenery, thinking to yourself, "God, this place is ugly." Then, almost the next day, you take a look around and notice everything is turning green and blooming and that our city is quite beautiful. I am anxious for this summer to come. We need a good one after the rainy/crappy one we had last year. But this spring has been pretty beautiful thus far. Let's hope it's a good omen for the summer to come....

Oh the joys of traveling!

2009-04-03T15:34:00.004-08:00

So, I'm not sure how many people know (or care) that we have volcanoes in Alaska. And recently, one of them has been acting up. Mount Redoubt to be specific. She started rumbling and made the news right around Christmastime. I remember because I had multiple friends traveling during the holidays that I was worried for because if an eruption should occur, depending on winds, it shuts down our airport...one of the few things that can. Because Mt. Redoubt had been rumbling and making noise for so long with no major occurrences, Steve and I left for Vegas on Saturday, March 21st without a care in the world.

Early Monday morning, I get a text message from a friend here in Anchorage letting me know that Redoubt had finally erupted.

Ash wasn't supposed to be heading to Anchorage, so things still looked good. Well, the last time Mt. Redoubt started erupting, she was active off-and-on for 4 months...this time appears to be following suite. We kept checking the AVO (Alaska Volcano Observatory) website to keep abreast of the events, but mostly just continued having a good time while vacationing in Vegas with our friends.

We were scheduled to fly out on Friday afternoon and get back into Anchorage around midnight on Friday. Well...that didn't happen. We got to Seattle and found out she had erupted again and this time the ash plume was heading for Anchorage. Thus we were stuck in Seattle. And because so many people had already been affected by the cancelled flights earlier in the week, the earliest we could get out was Sunday night with a flight to Fairbanks, a five and a half hour layover there, and then finally get to Anchorage at 7 am on Monday. The bonus, they wouldn't give us our luggage back because they were trying to fly the bags back up whenever they could, so we were left with only our carry-on stuff. Which meant we had to go shopping again to get fun things like socks and underwear and toiletries that you can't bring in your carry-on. Fun fun!

So Sunday rolls around. We do get out of Seattle. But when we get to Fairbanks we get kicked out of the secured part of the airport because they shut down overnight, at 3:45am look at the flight boards to see that our flight has been cancelled even though there hadn't been any eruptions (I overheard the lady at the counter saying they didn't have a crew), have to rebook on a later flight and end up not getting home until a little after 10am on Monday. Did I mention we didn't sleep at all in the Fairbanks terminal? I was so tired by the time we got home, I basically slept from 11:30 until the next morning with a few lucid breaks for eating. Work was not an easy task on Tuesday morning.

I have to admit, we had an amazing vacation. We did tons of shopping, ate at fabulous restaurants, and really had a great time hanging out with our friends Chris and Erin. This was my first 'couples' vacation and I will totally be down for doing so again...just not anytime while the volcano is rumbling....

People I Hate (Episode 1)

2009-03-18T11:58:00.005-08:00

So this is going to be the first post of many that describes the type of people that make me want to poke my own eye out with a fork.

The first group of people are old people. Unfortunately, I don't really classify people as 'old' by their age alone. There are some 65+ folks that have remained active and healthy and are able to talk and walk around without appearing to be completely handicapped...I am ok with them. When I say old, I am referring to these people who can't function in normal society. Those folks who take 30 seconds or more to comtemplate stepping down a 6" curb because if they take a bad step they could break a hip. Or the ones who walk so slowly that I could lap them while crab-walking. Or the ones who's reaction times have slowed so dramatically that they take forever to step on the gas or brake pedal and scare the hell out of me with their concept of 'lane boundaries'.

About a month or so ago, I watched an older woman at a gas station have to be helped to do everything. She couldn't get the gas cap off or the gas pump into the tank. She couldn't swipe her credit card fast enough to have the card reader recognize it. Basically, she could not function. The reason I sat and watched (and did not help myself) was because there was a gas attendent who was nice enough to help her with all of this. At first, I was really sad watching this woman. I felt bad for her. However, the longer I watched and the more helpless I saw her to be, the angrier I got. WHY IS THIS WOMEN DRIVING? She can barely function outside of her car, how the hell is she capable of driving?? And why is she so helpless? Does she have unavoidable health issues or has she aged so terribly because she didn't remain active? Most of the 'health issues' that American society has today are completely preventable by eating healthfully and remaining active. I said MOST, not ALL. And almost all are somehow related to how we take care of our bodies. So I find it difficult to feel bad for someone who basically threw their own health away. Why should I care if you didn't?

Then just yesterday, I nearly watched an accident (me in the middle) because this old hag decided to cross the street when she didn't have the walking signal and we had the left turn arrow causing us all to slam to a dead stop mid-intersection to let her waddle slowly across the road. (This brings up yet another group of people I hate, those who feel the rules should apply to everyone but them, but that discussion is for another time.) I was truly amazed by how slowly she moved. I wanted to get out and smack her. Walking is what our bodies were made to do. That is why we are upright and our ancestors were not. It's called evolution. Our bodies actually changed to allow us to walk and run with ease. I am blown away by how lazy our society has become. People will do almost anything to avoid walking. (Once again, this is a topic better left for a later date.) The old saying, "Use it or lose it," is very applicable. If you do nothing but sit all day, that's what your body gets used to. You have to get up and move around regularly. Retirement does not equate to immobile. At least, it shouldn't.

I think perhaps my dislike of old people stems from my fear of what typical aging entails. I'm not afraid to get older. In fact, at this point in my life, I feel like I'm still on the upward side of the aging hill. I know I will peak and then start to decline, but I hope that by maintaining a healthy lifestyle I can slow that decline somewhat. I don't want to be THAT sort of old person. I want to be the fun one that still travels and explores and isn't afraid of change. Here's to hoping I don't become what I hate...

Work and Life

2009-03-12T17:10:00.003-08:00

You know...I like what I do. I enjoy being an engineer. I like being involved in the development of the city I live in and making sure that that development is good development and not crap. I get to work on some really interesting projects. I get to play in traffic (I'm a traffic engineer who often gets to count cars, measure roads, and take pictures while in active traffic), go to places I may not get to go otherwise (i.e. Red Dog mine, Juneau, Sitka, etc.), and generally just have "the know" when it comes to new stores and restaurants and roads that are being built in my city. I really do like it.

That being said, I do not live to work. Never in my life have I ever said that I wanted my job to be my life. Being an engineer is what I do, not who I am. And I hate being expected to work my life away. Sometimes I feel as though it is expected for me to work MANY additional hours to get a project out the door that came to me last minute due to poor planning. That is when I want to use a saying my dad used to say. "Lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." I want to kiss whoever said that first. Why is it that people think that by coming to me last minute, that all of sudden I will feel like working 12 hour days to help them get their project out the door. In all honesty, I do care. But I also care about my life. I still want to sleep, and work out, and cook dinner, and see the man I love, and spend time with my needy cats....I still have my life to live. I take it very personally when someone comes to me with something that will require me to work a lot of extra hours. When I am given ample time and warning on a project, I am usually able to coordinate most of the work within normal business hours. I have had to work a long day or three. I have had to bring stuff home with me so that I wasn't constantly being interrupted like I am at work. But overall, I work diligently enough that I can complete my projects in my work hours. I plan it that way because, once again, I like living my life.

I guess some people could say that I need to find my passion and find a job that makes it feel that I am not working so that I could work endlessly and be happy. But I would still want to work out and cook and go out with friends and spend time with my love and my cats...I would still have a life outside of work. What can I say? I like having a life separate from my work. It works for me.

Where is spring when you need it most?!

2009-03-11T14:47:00.003-08:00

Am I the only one that feels like spring and summer will never come? We had a crappy summer last year. Not much sun...well only mid-week and mid-day while at work so we really couldn't enjoy it. Most weekends sucked. So now we keep having sunny days. It's still in the 30's and there is still snow on the ground, but when you are in your vehicle with the sun beating down on you, you don't even need a coat. And I am so worried that the summer is going to suck again that when it is sunny I can't concentrate on work.

This spring is going to be hard. It keeps warming up, then cooling down and snowing again when all I want it to do is melt and be gone. I am feeling very blah about the weather and life right now. I have no drive. All I really want to do is sit around, play Bejeweled Twist, and watch stupid TV. Let's hope this spring and summer shape up to be as beautiful as normal...I need it this year!

Just one of those days...

2009-02-12T09:08:00.003-09:00

This week has been weird. I am happy and content in my life, but this week I just feel sad. Part of it is PMS, part of it is my longing for summer and longer daylight hours (the dark is getting old), and part of it is me thinking of my dad. All together, it has just made me a sad and a bit nostalgic. I have a lot to say, but no real desire to write it down. Is that weird? I feel weird this week. Let's hope this funk doesn't last too long...

Am I the only one?

2009-02-03T10:49:00.004-09:00

Am I the only one who thinks that much of the United States has lost it's imagination? So many songs and movies are nothing more than digitally enhanced remakes. If they aren't remakes, they are based upon books, so it's not even an idea they come up with themselves. It amazes me how much money is made by people who can't even come up with good ideas.

For example, the Superbowl commercials. They used to be one of the most exciting parts of the game, but over the past few years, I feel as though they have been very lacking. Don't get me wrong, I got a good laugh out of a few of them. But overall, I wasn't impressed. These people are spending MILLIONS of dollars on these ad campaigns and they suck! I think I may be one of the few people who feel this way, but I HATE the E-trade baby commercials. I think a baby talking with an adult voice is creepy, not cute. And I don't think a baby spitting up is funny. Vomiting is NEVER attractive. But apparently, someone in America likes them because they keep making more. Same goes for the Geico commercials. I was done with the Geico gecko and the damn cavemans several years ago. But it took them until a few months ago to finally come out with the 'money' ads.

The same goes for many people's children. They are so bombarded with entertainment, they don't know how to entertain themselves anymore. Just look at our cars. Nearly every new family car has an entertainment system in the back seat. What is that? I remember the good old days of car trips playing card cames with my sister, or reading, or playing 'do you see what I see' or finding different state license plates. No movies. No TV. Nada!! It drives me nuts to see people driving around in Anchorage with a movie on for their kids. If they can't handle a 20 minute drive across town, there is something wrong! I grew up without any video gaming system (wasn't interesting) and wasn't allowed to have a TV in my room. My sister and I would play eloborate make-believe games that lasted for days. We would build forts with pillows and blankets. We would play 'the ground is lava' game and have to stay up on furniture or our feet would be burnt. We had toys, but the most fun I had was using my imagination...

I'm not quite sure where I was going with this, but all I know is that I'm thankful for having a good imagination and for those writers and entertainers that are too.

Missing Dad

2009-01-23T11:00:00.002-09:00

It's amazing how sometimes it just hits you how much you miss someone. On Tuesday, I realized how much I miss my dad. It was Inaguration Day. Melissa and I and a few other people in the office sat down for the first 30 minutes of work in a conference room and watched Obama take his oath and listened to what he had to say. I liked it. I liked his message of hope. I hope he follows through with much of what he has promised during his campaign. But it made me cry. My father was very involved in politics. He bugged me every election day (local and national) to make sure I was getting out there to vote. He believed in our right to make a choice about our government. He always believed.

He died not quite two days after the presidential election. I don't think he even left the house to vote, which was the first time since he started voting at age 18. I thought it was weird he didn't call to remind me, but I was too 'busy' to call him. Then we get the news that he is gone. He didn't even get to see who was voted in. He didn't get to see the history made by our first African American president. And all that hit me when I saw Obama take his oath. It saddens me that my father didn't get to see it. Granted, he was a republican and probably wouldn't have voted for Obama, but he definitely would have appreciated the importance of the occasion. I hope he knows that I thought of him on both days and that I will for the rest of my life whenever I go to vote. And I will ALWAYS go vote!

I miss you Dad....

Weather

2009-01-15T10:25:00.002-09:00

OK, so I know that most of the US is having freaky weather occurences right now, but Alaska is just plain wrong!! For the past two weeks or more, we have had below zero weather. And not just single digits. Our highs were -5 type weather. It sucked! It was ridiculously cold and you couldn't go outside to do anything! Then it started to warm up. And kept warming up...and for the past two days we have had rain (on top of all of our snow and packed down ice), 40+ degree temps, and high winds. Thus, all of Anchorage is a skating rink that we are expected to drive on. It is just insane. I had to stay home yesterday because I literally could not get off my road and onto the main road. I have a slight incline to go up and my car was sliding backwards. Thus, I turned around and went back home. Today was no better. But I woke up an hour early to get a ride with my honey in his truck. The roads are just ridiculous. My work is not so important that I should be here. In fact, all the schools, colleges, and military bases have been closed for the past two days. Why should we have to work? AHHH!!

I am frustrated and amazed. We literally had a shift of over 70 degrees within three days time. That is insane. It was warmer out in Girdwood (a ski resort town south of Anchorage) than it was in Vegas this morning. What is that?? It scary because sometimes I think this weather looks like the end of days....

Please Lord, let this not be the end of the world!

The art of the RSVP...

2009-01-12T09:35:00.004-09:00

I am going to rant today on a topic that is near and dear to my heart....RSVPing.

I don't host all that many parties throughout the year. I always throw a big bash for Steve's birthday mid-summer, try to do something fun for my own birthday, and then a few other holiday or group things throughout the rest of the year. This past weekend made me realize why I don't throw that many parties....especially with people that I don't know that well.

There is a girl in my office that is moving from Anchorage to our Juneau office to start a new department. She has been at the company for 10 years and has many friends that still work here and many that have come and gone but still keep in touch. Well she sent out an email in the beginning of December (maybe even earlier than that, but definitely before the Christmas insanity) to ask everyone what weekend in the beginning of January would be best to get together for her last hurrah here in the ANC. A bunch of people responded and January 10th was the agreed upon date. We all thought we going to go to Simon and Seafort's (a nice restaurant up here) for dinner and drinks followed by a night out. Well, one of Angela's friends decided to do the coordinating for Angela since she already has to deal with the stress of moving and all that jazz. Unfortunately, due to the insanity of the holidays, nothing was done until the week following the new year. Which means, phone calls for reservations weren't put in until Monday, January 5th and none of the planned locations had any openings for parties of 15 to 20 people.

Well, I was in the restaurant world for 4.5 years through college and still have many friends in the business. My best friend is the banquet coordinator at Sullivan's Steakhouse (an upscale steakhouse) and another really good friend, Donna, is the manager. So, I give a call in to see if they could get us in last minute. Being my friends, they were able to pull some strings and get us into a private room and even waived the room minimum charge of $600 in sales. So I tell everyone that I have found a location for us to have the party at, since I felt bad that it looked as though the party wasn't going to happen, and hoped for the best.

Well, Saturday night rolls around and my sister and I show up right at 7pm to find the room nearly deserted. In the end, only 6 people other than Angela (who the party was for) bothered showing up. Don't get me wrong, we had a wonderful time. The drinks were wonderful, the food was so good I ate until I was sick, and the service was fantastic. But I couldn't help feeling disappointed and a little slighted. If I didn't have friends at Sullivan's, we would have had to fork out nearly $200 more dollars than what we paid to reach the room minimum of $600. Then Donna, gives us one of every dessert on the menu for free to help us celebrate.

In the end, I realized (once again) that I have wonderful friends. If it wasn't for Carrie and Donna, the night probably wouldn't have happened and definitely wouldn't have been nearly as nice. I put myself on the line for the people I work with and they completely let me down. Granted, I wasn't in charge of the party, but it still sucked. If you RSVP to be at a party, show up! Sometimes it makes a difference in HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS!! And if you don't really want to go, buck up, put on your big girl panties, and RSVP saying NO!! I am so tired of people playing games and saying 'maybe' for two weeks when you know they just don't want to insult you and say no. But people have lives!! If you can't make it, you can't make it. I would rather know not to expect you then go to a party set up for 20 people and only having 7 show up! If I had actually been the coordinator of this party, you better believe I would have been giving people hell for not showing up. The big difference is, if this was a party with MY core group of friends, we are all honest enough with each other to say that we will or will not be there, so we always know what to anticipate. Once again, this evening made me realize that my friends rock!

2009 is here!

2009-01-07T09:30:00.003-09:00

Well...it's official. 2008 is over and 2009 has begun...thank goodness. I'm not going to say that 2008 was a bad year, but it was definitely trying. Between dealing with my parents divorce becoming official, the petty games that went along with it and my father's unexpected death, it was a very emotional year. But I still had a lot of good times. I have wonderful friends who checked in on me often even when I pulled away to deal with my sorry. I have a fabulous sister who I think I would go insane without having her to commiserate with on our family dramas. I have a boyfriend who is nothing less than amazing. I don't know what I do without my Steve. He is my rock, my cuddle-blanket, my lover, my friend....he is my everything. His kindness through times of sorry and anger overwhelms me. I thank God for him everyday.

The holidays actually went much better than I expected this year. Both Thanksgiving and Christmas were spent amongst my 'family'. I put family in quotations because my blood relatives are very few up here. I have my mom and my sis. But I have a lot of 'family'. They are my good friends that have become my adopted family. They are always there when I need them and I'm actually closer to them than I am to my extended family back east. Thus, I spent my holidays with the people I love and who love me and it was fabulous. We shared great food, and laughs, and lots of good memories of Dad. I was severely depressed after my Dad's death. I lost interest in life. I didn't want to do anything or see anyone. The holidays actually helped pull me out of this. I don't know exactly when it happened but I finally started to laugh and joke again on my own. I find myself walking around with my usual smile. People at work have stopped asking me what's wrong all the time because I finally seem like myself again. Granted I still have my moments. Sometimes it hits me that my dad is gone and I start crying in the middle of the day over nothing. But overall, I'm feeling good again. And I like it.

I have great hope for this year. Will the entire year be perfect? Nothing is ever perfect. But I learned a lot in 2008. I learned about life, my family, and myself. This knowledge will be put to good use this year. So here's to 2009. Let it be an adventure!

Angry

2008-12-03T09:27:00.002-09:00

I don't know why, but ever since my dad died, I have been very angry. I do, quite often, have my brushes with sorrow and tears, but mostly I'm just angry. I'm angry that he knew he was dying and didn't tell anyone. I'm angry he didn't ask for help when he needed it. I'm angry that he raised us to save money and to be smart about our finances and, in the end, he pissed away money like it was water. I'm angry that because he started drinking again he named a friend as an executor of his will instead of Melissa or I. Now we don't have the power to do anything and his 'friend' isn't doing shit to help the probate process move along. I'm angry!

And it seeps into the other aspects of my life. Work, home, friendships. I am not my usually fun and laughable self. Everyone keeps asking me what's wrong. In all honesty, I can't pinpoint one thing and I know they don't want to listen to me rant on about all the crap in my life. All I can say is that I'm seriously pissed off at the world right now. I want it to pass. I don't like always having this burning feeling in my stomach that has nothing to do with indigestion. I don't like hating people. This type of anger hurts me more than others and I don't like it.

What should I do? I feel very lost...and angry.

Black Friday and the Insane Holidays

2008-12-02T08:07:00.000-09:00

Let me preface this blog by letting you know that I hate to shop. I do not enjoy wandering around malls looking for a bargain. I prefer to do most of my shopping online and I even find that irritating at times.

So maybe I’m biased when I say I think ‘Black Friday’ is my idea of hell and I think most people who engage in waiting outside a store for its 3am opening are just insane. The sad fact is this though…I know a lot of people that I love and respect that do go out and do this. They buy a paper on Thanksgiving and spend hours studying the sale papers deciding their ‘game plan’. Then get to bed early after an afternoon glutton fest so they can wake up early to go get their perfect sale items.

This whole event saddens me. First and foremost, because it reminds me of what a hollow and fake holiday that both Thanksgiving and Christmas have become. Society has literally driven me to not want to celebrate these holidays. Not because I do not believe in what they stand for, but because I don’t want to be associated with the idiocy that most of the rest of America thinks is the norm. Thanksgiving should be spent with family and friends, enjoying the little bit of time we get to spend together during what always ends up being a mad dash to the end of the year. Relaxing, laughing, eating great food, and just enjoying life. Call me crazy, but I think any woman who is forced to spend the whole day cooking and stressing about preparing the meal for everyone should boycott next year. Make everyone who joins you bring a fix-in so that you don’t have to spend the day doing it all. Let everyone do a little bit of work so that you can all spend equal amounts of time enjoying the fruits of your labor.

This brings me to Christmas. The Christmas season does not begin the day after Thanksgiving and end Christmas Day. In fact, Christmas Day is the first day of the 12 days of Christmas, not the last. The Christmas season technically ends on the Epiphany (Feast of the Three Kings) on January 6th. So it pisses me off to no end, these people who spout off at the mouth about how ‘Christian’ and knowledgeable they are and they can’t even get the celebrations correct. I hate how the day after Christmas, everyone pulls down their Christmas tree and decorations when, in fact, the celebration is just beginning! Unfortunately since most everyone has been celebrating since the day after Thanksgiving, I can understand they must be tired of it. In fact, I can’t even listen to the radio during the month of December or else I hate all Christmas carols by the time Christmas actually rolls around.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hate how the retail business has exploited the holidays and made it nearly impossible for me to enjoy. And what I hate more is that because American society is made up of sheeple (people who follow the masses like sheep) we let them do it! We follow whatever the retailers ‘tell’ us to do. I refuse. In fact, this year I am barely shopping. Why? Not because I can’t afford to but because getting and giving a housefull of gifts are not what the holidays are about. The holidays are about spending time with the ones we love while we still have time to do so…because sometimes this could be the last time. My dad didn’t live to see this holiday season and I want to do right by him by spending the time I do have left with the ones I love. I couldn’t care less about the gifts. All I want for Christmas is to have my family and friends close and to enjoy my life as it is.

Yesterday....

2008-11-07T07:41:00.002-09:00

Now as I re-read the post I made early in the day yesterday I have to laugh about how petty all of it seems. At 4pm, an officer came to see my sister and I to let us know that our father has passed. I still don't know what think. I've cried so much I feel like have no more tears. I feel sad, then angry, then guilty all within 5 minutes. My dad is dead....

Can I start today over?

2008-11-06T09:01:00.002-09:00

So...it's very close to 'that time of the month' for me. I am feeling very emotional and sad. I don't think the cold weather we have been having is helping with my wintertime blues. Needless to say I have been rather 'short' lately. My patience is not what it should be and I am not in the kind and giving mood.

This morning started off well enough. Got up on time. I have been having to get used to having Steve at home me in the morning this week. Typically he has to be at work at 7, so he's leaving the time I am getting up. But he has training this week that doesn't start until 8, so we have been getting ready together. For the first 3+ years we lived together, this was the norm. We showered and got ready together each morning. But we've been getting ready separately for close to a year now and we are definitely out of the habit. So where we used to have a routine, now we slow each other down. Beginning of my irritation.

Long story short, we got all snippy with each other and I walked out without a goodbye kiss or any kind words. Then half-way to work, I realize I forgot my clothes and shoes for going walking after work with my friend. Then, I took my slower route to work because I didn't feel like dealing with high-speed traffic. Bad idea. The slower route ended up making me 10 minutes late for work because a train decided to go through during morning rush hour. This typically does not happen. They are pretty good about timing the trains so that they don't cause a major backup. I was parked on the roadway for a good 20 minutes.

Needless to say, all I want to do today is go home and go back to bed until my bad mood passes. Give me a week. =)

The election...

2008-11-05T14:45:00.000-09:00

is finally over! Enough said. Let's move on....

Halloween

2008-10-31T10:13:00.005-08:00

So, I know that this is a trend notice by all, but when did it become the standard for all women to dress like sluts on Halloween? I remember the good old days when were expected to really think about our costumes and come up with something interesting and fun. Now, all you have to do is pick an everyday profession and hooch it up. You can't just be a cop, you have to be a sexy cop. You can't just be a nurse, you have to be a slutty nurse.

So this year, I was going to buck the trend and be a totally nerdy engineer. I was going to go all out. Argyle socks pulled up to my knees, pants that look too short, suspenders, a pocket protector, birth-control glasses...the works!

Notice I say that I WAS gong to buck the trend. When I spoke to all of my girlfriends about our plans for Halloween and what was going on, I was informed of all of their costumes and...I would have been the only one not going sexy. I would like to think I have a good enough ego to survive an evening of being 'overdressed' for the occasion, but I was wrong. So instead of being a nerdy engineer, I will now be going as a naughty engineer which ends up looking almost like a naughty school girl, but not in the really short short skirt.

I guess I won't be as ostentatious as most...the only real skin I'll be showing is some cleavage in a red satin bra with an unbuttoned shirt. Not so bad. But I swear that next year I want to think of a really awesome costume that doesn't require me to be 'naughty'....next year....

Drama

2008-10-17T13:20:00.004-08:00

I have to admit....I used to be addicted to drama. During my teenage years, everything (I mean EVERYTHING) was blown out of proportion! Every situation felt like 'life or death'. Even into my early twenties, it seemed like unless my life had drama in it, I was bored and would actually start the drama. I was a drama queen.

I can admit this now only because I have reformed. Now, I find that I tend to avoid people who have a lot of drama in their life or cause a lot of drama. I just don't need it to be satisified. Some people may call my life boring, but I am content. I don't have to worry about where my man is at and who he is with because he tells me. I don't have friends who talk bad about me behind my back time and time again because if I find out you are doing it, I no longer associate with you. Life is too short for everything to be dramatic. I know, from experience, that 'drama' takes a lot of time and energy that I can spend living my life and being happy.

In fact, over the past two years, I have had to deal with more drama from my parent's due to their divorce than in most other aspects of my life and I HATED IT! To be honest, I stopped speaking to both of my parents for a while until they could handle not putting me in the middle of their drama because I couldn't handle it anymore.

I don't know why I thought of this. I just figured I would share some of my random thoughts. I'm happy my life is less dramatic than it was in the past. Don't get me wrong, I still have crisis situations pop up and work stress and friction with family and friends at times, but I handle them a lot differently than when I was younger. And I like it. It's good to grow up in some ways.

Icy Roads

2008-10-13T08:10:00.005-08:00

Ok. I live in Alaska. What is Alaska known for? Mostly for being an island next to Hawaii on most maps of the US, but people who really know about Alaska know that we are a 'winter wonderland' state. We typically get lots of snow and with snow comes ice. So roads can be slick. But every year, it seems like people just can't get it through their thick skulls that they need to slow down and be cautious once the snow falls. Proven by the record breaking number of ditch divers we have each year after the first snow fall. All people really need to do is slow down, leave plenty of distance between them and the person in front of them, and not worry about being somewhere a little late (or just leave early). Now in mentioning slowing down, I need to add a sidenote. Slow down does not mean go 5 mph on the highway or a main road. There is such a thing as going too slow. If conditions truly warranted going 5 mph, then we should all stay home!!

These past few years, I've noticed a real trend in Alaska's weather. We have snow storms every Sunday night. It doesn't seem to fail. They can predict the snowfall for Friday or Saturday, but it always holds out until Sunday night. Why? Lately I feel as though we are just destined to have an absolutely terrible Monday morning commute. Maybe its Darwinism at work and the state is trying to weed out the 'weaker' humans. The sad part is that most of the really terrible drivers I see are rarely ever in the accidents...they are the ones that cause them in their wake and drive on thinking they are fine and dandy.

Long story short, sometimes I hate being an adult. As a child, I loved snow. As soon as snow fell, I wanted to be outside to play and enjoy it. Now, I have to fight the urge to cring every time I see the snow start falling. Not because I don't like snow. I still do. It's beautiful and it brightens up our dark winters unlike anything else. I hate it because I know I will have to deal with all the idiots on the roads. My goal this winter is to reverse that method of thinking. I want to be excited when I see snow. I just want to be a kid again!

It's here...the white stuff...

2008-10-08T08:12:00.002-08:00

It may not be in a thick layer. It may not even still be on the roads. But the white stuff has started falling and that means that winter has officially begun here. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for it. Check back in with me in a month once I have to deal with more stupid driving and long commutes when I live 15 minutes away from work. I need to find a winter hobby...

I'm bad at keeping up.

2008-10-02T09:58:00.002-08:00

I have never been a journaler (i.e. a person who keeps a journal). Why? Because I'm terrible at it. I will be vigilant at making daily entries for about a week or so and then I fall off. Then when I got back to it a month later, I feel like such an idiot that I don't know what to write. And when I re-read what I had written earlier, I wonder why I felt it necessary to write about such mundane things. I don't know....maybe I'm just hard on myself, but I am terrible at keeping journals. This does all lead to something....

I am also a terrible blogger because blogging is like an online journal. I'm always good in the beginning and then I fall off. Maybe it's because here I feel like I am trying to express myself in a such a way that strangers who read it will partially understand who I am and what I stand for. But then I realize that no one really reads this, so why should I care so much? Actually, one of my biggest hang-ups in life is caring too much about what others think of me. Why should it matter what others think? One of my favorites quotes is by Dr. Suess and says, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind."

I need to start living by my favorite quotes...

Politics just make me sick!

2008-09-16T13:11:00.004-08:00

Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this, but I am terrified about the presidential election this November. I honestly can say I do not, and will not, support either cantidate. I always feel as though I am choosing between the lesser of the two evils, but this year, I feel as though we are scraping the bottom of the pot and all that is left is the unrecognizable muck that makes you gag at the sight of it. I mean, these people make me physically ill. I still have a few more months to do research and try to see how these people stand on the issues instead of listening to all the slanderous propaganda being offered by every news station, paper, and magazine out there. I have yet to hear any truth. None. I may not be a genius, but I'm not an idiot, and I can usually tell when someone is trying to pull one over on me. Every time I hear Obama or McCain speak, I feel like I can't even hear their words through the bullshit they are flinging. I am frightened. Truly frightened. Things are bad now, but they can get much worse and I'm not sure either cantidate has the knowledge, desire, or intention of making a positive change for our nation. I guess we'll see how it goes. This may be the first election in which I don't cast my vote...which saddens me.

Back home

2008-09-11T16:56:00.003-08:00

So I made it back home without any major mishaps. We didn't run into any bears up there, which was my biggest worry the entire time. We did get to see some caribou and foxes and the weather was outstanding. All in all, the trip went well. However, I am very happy to be home a week early. I missed my sweetie, my cats, my car, my own bathroom, and my life. It was nice to be disconnected for a bit....but I like the city life. It was way too quiet and uneventful up at the mine. Hopefully I'll be posting pretty regularly again here soon. Until then, I hope everyone is doing great!

Separation

2008-08-28T12:36:00.003-08:00

As I mentioned before, I'm about to head out of town to the remote sight of Red Dog Mine which is north of the Arctic Circle and completely separated from 'normal' life. I will have no cell service and will not have regular email/internet access. While part of me is looking forward to this disconnection, another part is kind of sad. Steve and I have been together for 5 years now and this will be the longest we have ever been apart from each other. We're adults and I'm sure we'll be fine, but a part of me is not looking forward to being away from him. He is who I talk to, laugh with, vent to, and everything else on a daily basis. The bad part is that for the first week that I'm gone, he's also going to be disconnected as he is going on a hunting trip with our friend Andrew. Thus, I won't be able to speak to him at all for over a week. I'm not sure how I'll do. The thought saddens me more than I can put into words. Let's hope that I'm too busy and tired up there to really pay attention to my lack of daily Steve....

Busy week

2008-08-22T08:02:00.003-08:00

As you may have noticed, I have not been posting much this week. Work has been insane. I am heading up to Red Dog Mine the end of next week and will be out of the office for nearly three weeks and everyone is in a panic for me to get EVERYTHING done before I leave. Little stressed here. I hope to post more next week before I leave. And even though I won't really have much access to the internet while at the mine, I will have laptop on which I can write blogs and then post when I get back. So I may be quiet for a little while....but don't forget about me!

Honesty is the best policy. Really.

2008-08-18T16:29:00.004-08:00

We are all adults here. If you don't want to do something, tell me you don't want to do it. Don't try to give me some lame-ass excuse or talk your way out. Be honest and up front and say you don't want to do it. I may be upset or let down by your admission, but I will respect your honesty and appreciate the truth. I am so tired of people volunteering or offering to do things and then just not showing up or coming and then I hear later that they did nothing but complain about it. Like I said, we are all adults. Let's put on our big girl panties and be honest with others and with ourselves. Life's too short for drama.

Ain't no sunshine!

2008-08-15T12:26:00.001-08:00

I know the song 'Ain't No Sunshine' is a love song sung by a guy who says his world seems dark without his special lady. But it's the perfect sentence to describe this summer here in the ANC! We have had such crappy weather this year!! The winter was cold, very random (i.e. lots of snow one day, warm up and rain the next), and just depressing all around. Unfortunately, this summer has been the same way. It's been unseasonably cold and dreary. Typically the summers in Alaska make up for the harsh winters, but this year, the summer has given us the big middle finger. It sucks.

I bring this up because it's Friday and I am sitting, looking out the window at rain and gray skies and realized that today is the perfect day to bitch. tee hee It's the type of day that's perfect for sitting on the couch in your pajama's, watching mindless television, and eating unhealthy food. But like I said, it's Friday and I had to work. This week has been long and arduous and ironically, my mood fits the weather. In other words, I'm completely happy it's Friday! I just wish the weather would brighten up a bit....and take my mood along with it!

On a more positive note, this weekend is going to be busy and fun. Steve's sister's birthday is coming up and we are probably going to celebrate with his family this weekend, which will be nice. And on Saturday night, I am hosting a girls' movie night at my place for a group of friends so we can get together and non-guiltily watch chick flicks. =) I'm looking forward to it. Sunday we'll probably try to hit the theaters to see either 'Pineapple Express' or 'Tropic Thunder'. Either way, I'm sure I'm in a for a good laugh!

Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend. TTFN!

Random post for today...

2008-08-14T14:07:00.002-08:00

So today is V-J Day here in the United States. (I know this because I was in a random mood and looked up what holidays were celebrated on today’s date.)

What is V-J Day you may ask? Is it a day to celebrate the hosts on MTV and VH1? No. Is it a day to celebrate women’s cooters? No. It’s the day to celebrate ‘Victory over Japan’ because it is the day they surrendered in World War II.

Go figure!

I've been tagged!

2008-08-13T12:21:00.003-08:00

So I've been tagged by my friend Tina from over at My Own Party of 5.

The rules are:
1. Link the person that tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

My 6 unspectacular quirks:

1. I am obsessive about keeping my nails clean, straight, and even. If I break one, they all get cut to the same length. And I take my time cutting and filing. Ask Steve. If he sees me starting my nails, he knows he's got at least a half hour to do his own thing.

2. I have a thing with smells. I inherited a very sensitive nose from my mother. At times, this can be a good thing (i.e. identifying ingredients in food), but most of the time it is a bad thing. When I go to the movies and am close to the girl/guy that doesn't understand that one spritz of a perfume/cologne is enough, I get nauseated and it eventually turns into a headache which does make me physically ill. I wish more people understood the fine art of minimalism when it comes to frangrances. Oh, and the fine art of using deodorant!

3. I have handwriting so neat it has been confused with a font several times.

4. I'm like Tina in that I have to be doing something. I don't ever just sit and watch a T.V. show. I read, do my nails, work on a crossword, do laundry, straighten up. The only time I sit and devote attention to a screen is in a movie theater when I've paid a fortune to be there!

5. I have a pen fetish. No, I do not like to get freaky with pens. Think of a person with a shoe fetish who just can't resist looking and buying. That's me and pens. I have hundreds of different types and I'm always looking my new favorite.

6. If I could live in a bookstore or library, I would! I love to read. I love learning new things. When I grow up, I might have to go back to school to be a librarian. =)

Well, I can't tag 6 people because I've only been at this a few days and the people I know that do have already been tagged. Thus, the chain stops with me. I'm lame! =)

Bear attacks

2008-08-12T13:03:00.003-08:00

This summer, there seems to be an increase in the number of bear sightings and bear attacks here in the Anchorage area. I'm not sure if there is an actual increase or if it's just a perception due to the increased publicity via news stories and articles. Either way, I find it quite sad that the solution is to kill problem bears. I understand that we live in the most populous city in the state, but we do still live in Alaska. There is a reason why our city's theme is "Big. Wild. Alaska." I'm sure that you have more of a chance of running into some sort of large wildlife within our city limits than in most other cities in the U.S. It is something that you have to consider when living or moving up here.

We have moose, which aren't large, tame horses. They are wild animals that can stomp you into a bloody pulp if they feel threatened. We have wolves which aren't glorified dogs. The first time I saw a wolf up-close, in-person was at the Alaska State Zoo. They have a pack of 6 siblings there and when they all walked up to the fence together, it was quite frightening. In fact, I got to see our entire tour group of 20 people take a step back they were so intimidating...and that was through a fence. Then there are the bears. I have never had the opportunity to run into a bear in the wild, and I thank my lucky stars for that. I watch way too much Discovery and National Geographic stuff to not know how powerful, fast, and intelligent these creatures are. The only reason we think we are above them on the food chain is because we can carry weapons. But without a weapon, we are basically an easy target.

I think it is mankind's hubris to think we are untouchable. Our ego is just astounding. We think, "I'm in a city, nothing is going to happen," and then we go out walking in a location where several other people have already been attacked and are surprised?!?! Come on people! Let's use our brains. And now the bear is going to get punished. She's a sow with cubs and they are going to find and kill her. Perhaps it is survival of the fittest, but I feel it is a bit tainted. If we moved the bear and her cubs far way from the city and they weren't able to establish a territory and was then killed by other wildlife, that seems like Darwinism at work. Or if she attacked someone who was carrying a firearm and was killed by that individual. But to just hunt her down because she's been a 'problem'...that just seems wrong to me.

However, that's just my opinion and you don't have to take my word for it.

5 years and counting

2008-08-11T14:10:00.001-08:00

As everyone who is familiar with me knows, I am not the ‘lovely-dovey’ kind. Don’t get me wrong, I tell the people who matter to me how much I need and want them in my life. I’m not afraid to show my emotions and let others know how I’m feeling. But I’m not the overly gushy kind of person. I don’t typically write love letters or love songs. I don’t particularly like most chick flicks. Anything that is overly mushy I find kind of fake. However, I have to admit, there are times that Steve makes me so happy I want to sing it from the rooftops like in a musical.

Last Monday was our 5 year anniversary. Five whole years! It’s funny because in the past, I have always run away when it hit two years. And I did have a freak out at two years with Steve. Not because of him. It was my own insecurities. So now, here we are, together after five years, and it’s still amazing. He has seen me through the death of my childhood pet, my parents’ divorce, the long and arduous months of preparation for the professional engineering exam, and much much more. As I sit and ponder these past five years and wonder where I would have been had I not started dating Steve, I realize I don’t to think about it. I am happy where I am today and even though the past five years have not been perfect, I would not change a thing. In fact, I look forward to the next five years with anticipation and hope. I find that I am finally living up to one of my favorite French quotes, “J’aime at j’espere” which means, “I love and I hope.”

My first blog...

2008-08-11T12:50:00.002-08:00

OK, so I've blogged a bit on myspace, but I have never officially had my own blog. Lately I find myself wanting to write. I don't really care if people read it. I just want to write. To see it written. To know that have got my feelings out there. Stupid? Perhaps. Simple? Very.

So here I am! I will be sending a link to this blog to a few friends and I hope they join me in my quest to put myself out there.

I'll be "seeing" you all soon.