Today marks a year that my father has been dead. I almost can't believe it even while I write this. Where has the time gone? Has he really been gone this long already? There are days where it feels like it just happened yesterday. There are times when I just get the feeling that Dad is near. It always makes me smile. I miss him more than I can ever put into words. There are things I could say to him that I can't say to anyone else, so I just think them and imagine what he would have said in response. Funny how even the thought of his responses can piss me off (and I'm the one imagining them!). I think I'm pretty well past the anger phase. I just don't get pissed about the little things that happened in the end anymore. In fact, I find some of them difficult to recall. All I really like to remember are the funny conversation, the laughter, the life lessons...all the good things. My only hope since the day he died and still today is that he knows how much I love him and that he will forever live on in me. I am so much like him...I will always be his babygirl.
Love you Dad. Always will. Miss you.
3 comments:
Amazing how much has happened in a year, and how little. I feel the same way - like I want to go see him and tell him about the retard that day or something he'd totally be amused with, and then remember he's gone. Feels like someone stabs me in the heart all over again. Loss is like that, I guess. It ebbs and flows and pulls at you at odd times in odd ways.
I'm glad you're remembering the good stuff. I'm learning to talk about him more without it hurting so bad. Feels good to remember him.
Sending you (and Melissa!) huge long distance hugs. I'm glad that you're getting to a point where you're remembering the good and letting go of the anger.
Miss you my friend.
Well, I want yo to know I always enjoyed your dad's company, and I remember his kindness towards me. There is no doubt only your sister truly shares your loss, but I truly feel for you, and miss him, too.
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