I don't know why, but ever since my dad died, I have been very angry. I do, quite often, have my brushes with sorrow and tears, but mostly I'm just angry. I'm angry that he knew he was dying and didn't tell anyone. I'm angry he didn't ask for help when he needed it. I'm angry that he raised us to save money and to be smart about our finances and, in the end, he pissed away money like it was water. I'm angry that because he started drinking again he named a friend as an executor of his will instead of Melissa or I. Now we don't have the power to do anything and his 'friend' isn't doing shit to help the probate process move along. I'm angry!
And it seeps into the other aspects of my life. Work, home, friendships. I am not my usually fun and laughable self. Everyone keeps asking me what's wrong. In all honesty, I can't pinpoint one thing and I know they don't want to listen to me rant on about all the crap in my life. All I can say is that I'm seriously pissed off at the world right now. I want it to pass. I don't like always having this burning feeling in my stomach that has nothing to do with indigestion. I don't like hating people. This type of anger hurts me more than others and I don't like it.
What should I do? I feel very lost...and angry.
1 comment:
Hun, I wish I had some pearl of wisdom to share with you but I don't. I can only imagine what you're going through right now and you know, I think it's okay to be angry, expected even, but the most important thing is that you don't let that anger consume you. Easier said than done, I know. You're in my thoughts and prayers daily and I hope you're able to find a way to get back to the Steffie everyone knows and loves soon. ((hugs))
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